In a radical turn of events, a total eclipse is coming to Andrews University this year, despite the fact the U.S. shouldn’t see another one until 2044. The fact is, students were so enthralled by last year's eclipse that the administration petitioned NASA to shift the trajectory of the moon and sun, just this once, on behalf of Andrews students.
After last year’s eclipse came and went, several students shared that the event was life-changing.
“It was an exhilarating experience. It felt like I was on another planet, and experiencing time in an alternate dimension,” shared student Sunny Gone (sophomore, telescopes and binoculars). “It is the closest thing to living in a fantasy world I have ever experienced. I have to see another. I wonder if they can do it again next year.”
Rather than losing several students who impulsively (and recklessly, in some people’s opinion) decided to drop out of college to become eclipse chasers, Andrews resorted to drastic measures. Unbeknownst to most of us, an unnamed Andrews administration member has a direct connection to the NASA Advisory Council. Andrews University made a special request that NASA change its projections and alter the moon’s path.
Initially, NASA answered on behalf of the sun and moon, claiming the ask was “impertinent” and failed to consider how they would feel about the situation. The administration insisted, claiming it was the only way to maintain AU enrollment and save the school. They offered to provide them with a special, limited edition 150-year print Student Movement issue featuring an article about the last eclipse. The initial proposal suggested March 30 as the date since it would coincide with the AUSA banquet. However, the proposition did not align with NASA’s calendar since the move requires an all-hands-on-deck effort to achieve. The event was moved to April 24 as part of SILA’s end-of-year party, so be on the lookout for a total eclipse near you.
Disclaimer: This article is satire. Happy April Fools’ Day!
The Student Movement is the official student newspaper of Andrews University. Opinions expressed in the Student Movement are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the editors, Andrews University or the Seventh-day Adventist church.